Day 7

I've done things this past week I've not ever done. I've baked Quince for four hours to find it really does become a divine sugary treat, I've walked everywhere instead of driving and made discoveries I'd never make confined to the car, I've tried new recipes (I won't be making the chickpea soup again). Not drinking really does leave many empty hours to fill and a mind and body and confidence capable of doing new things.

I swam today, just a gentle breast stroke for 450 meters or so. The water was cool and the sun shone brightly on my lane. I think this must be self-care, a new practice. There is something so calming about still water, I love feeling the work and stretch of every muscle. After the first few laps the movements became effortless and my mind rested only on my actions and present moment. The thinking stopped.

Walking home from the pools I received the call I've been bracing for, my Miss 16 will stay where she is, she won't be coming home. I've been a little numb since. I know the tears will flow when I let them, when I allow myself to really feel it. It sucks. I hate it. But she is happier where she is. She has thanked me for not fighting her decision and I have peace knowing that she knows I want what's best for her.